Here’s an oldie but goodie. This post is from an FAQ found on Society for Barefoot Living.
When walking or running barefoot you’ll often have curious folks ask why you’re unshod. Here are 37 light-hearted responses you can try next time. Enjoy!
You’re barefoot!
1) You’re not!
2) You’re observant!
3) You’re right!
4) Thanks for the tip.
5) No shit, Sherlock.
Why aren’t you wearing shoes?
6) Don’t like ‘em.
7) They make my feet sweat/stink.
8) My feet like the fresh air.
9) My feet were hot.
10) One less thing to do in the morning.
11) Why aren’t you wearing gloves [hat]?
12) To annoy people like you.
13) Why do you care?
14) I’m allergic to them.
15) I’m not wearing a tie either.
16) I’m off-duty.
17) I’m opposed to wasting petrochemicals/leather.
18) I’m performing a scientific foot-toughening experiment.
19) If I don’t keep in contact with the ground, I build up a static charge.
20) My feet were jealous of my hands.
21) I’ll give you three-thousand guesses.
22) They are a conspiracy by multi-national plastic and leather merchants.
23) I knew I had forgotten something!
Why are you barefoot?
24) I like the way it feels.
25) It’s much more comfortable.
26) I think it looks cool.
27) I want to toughen my feet.
28) It’s good for my feet.
29) Because feet are beautiful.
30) It gives me this wonderful feeling of freedom.
31) I want keep in touch with the earth.
32) Because I’m not wearing shoes [duh!].
33) Try and work it out.
34) Because I m not concerned with your contempt.
35) Dunno.
36) Because you don’t pay my salary.
37) I’m in a time-warp from the ’60s.
Hi there.. I’ve been a barefooter for well over 15 years already.. At the beginning of the 1990s, I was homeless and biking through Europe aimlessly. I woke up one day and decided “no more shoes”, and since then I’ve only worn footwear when circumstances have dictated that I have no choice.. (going through customs, or into certain narrow minded shops).
http://www.fruitnut.net/HTML/110_BareFootism.htm
Peace,
Mango the Fruitarian
The other day some guy pointed at my feet and said, “You lost your shoes!” I replied – “Yeah, I lost them five years ago and haven’t worn them since!”
Another time a car full of gang-banger types slowed down and called out, “Hey man, you aren’t wearing shoes!” I smiled and told them, “I know! I’m a barefoot runner!” The driver repeated, as if he couldn’t believe it, “Yeah, but no shoes??” Still smiling, I replied, “Nope! I haven’t worn running shoes for five years.” Still not believing it, he repeated more slowly, “But – you – got – no – SHOES – on!” I waved and told him, “Thank you! I like it this way!” and ran on my way.
A foot patrol policeman saw me running barefoot and called out as I ran by, “You’re lot more of a man than I am!” I smiled, waved, and said, “Thank you!”
Some high-school goth-types, dressed in black on black with multiple piercings, studs, chains and spikes saw me running toward them. I was wondering what kind of response they’d give me. They said things like, “Duuuude! Natural, man! The original design! Now that’s tough!”
I stopped to wait for a light one time while running. A girl about 6 years old was studying me carefully. I waited for the inevitable question or comment from her about my bare feet. Instead, she told her father, “Daddy – that man isn’t wearing any pants!” She thought my running shorts were my underwear! I ran off laughing over that one.
38) I left them at your mother’s house.
The other day I was standing in line at a store checkout when the guy next to me (in a rude manner) mentioned that I wasn’t wearing any shoes. I replied that I wasn’t “wearing any underwear either”, and that shut him up, but his (rather attractive) girlfriend/wife piped up, “me either”. It was priceless.
@ Kevin : LOL! That is priceless…. thanks for sharing!!!!!!!!
Great list. I thought of doing something like this awhile ago – glad you did it already. A favorite response of mine when running trails barefoot: “I didn’t want to get my shoes dirty!”
Funniest I heard was at mile 20 of the 2003 Vancouver Marathon – a woman jogged up beside me and said “don’t tell me you’re pregnant too” (I’m a guy).
I’ve tried to be disarming – I’ve made a t-shirt that says “Shoe Sponsor Wanted – No Reasonable Offer Refused”. But often still I get the cretinous ‘Dude, where’s your shoes’ and ‘Dude, you forgot your shoes’. My usual retort is ‘Aagh, shoes are for girls’ (sorry, girls).
How about “It’s cheaper this way.”?
I haven’t read any where that the state of being bare footed is connected to a sense of freedom. My feet simply love feeling free & unlimited. When my feet are happy, the rest of me is happy too. I love feeling free. Why would I want to control contain or restrict the freedom of two of my best friends?
You’re not wearing shoes / How come you’re not wearing shoes / Where are your shoes / etc
“Which shoes are you talking about?”
Don’t you own shoes?
“Of course I do”
Well, why aren’t you wearing them?
“Which ones?”
etc.
The resistance that you fight physically in the work out center and the resistance that you fight in your life can only build a powerful character
Love the list, and the humor! I’ve tried running barefoot a few times, and have really enjoyed it. It does feel really weird at first, and you feel parts of your foot that you never used when its immobilized in a shoe :-S
“Where are your shoes?”
…
“Im running after the guy that stole them!” :)
@ Mick: hilarious.
“Where are your shoes?”
“My shoes have been in an argument with my feet. It’s impossible for them to be near each other.” ;D
A man in my neighborhood always looks at me like I’m crazy, and even has a look of contempt on his face when he sees me. I’m an easy-going dude, so I don’t say anything rude whenever he points out I’m not wearing shoes.
One day he said, “You’re missing your shoes!”
I replied, “No, I don’t miss them at all!”, which got a laugh out of him.
During one run I encountered some fun responses to my lack of shoes. First I ran past som kids on their way to soccer practice. When I ran past them one of them yelled “He can’t afford shoes! Get some shoes dude!” I turned around, ran backwards, smiled and waved and continued running.
Later during the run I ran past som teenage girls. They observed and started giggling.
Another guy sat on his bike and could only utter these words “What? no shoes…”
All responses were hysterical. =)
As well running by some friends who know that I run barefoot, give some nice responses “Hi Jerry! And no shoes of course” A: “Wouldn’t have it any other way:”
Why aren’t you wearing shoes?
responses:
1. Why ARE you?
2. I was tired of all the injuries they cause.
3. I’m not a pussy
Hey you’ve lost your shoes!
My reply, “I know, and guess what? Im totally naked under these clothes as well! See ya!”
Why aren’t you wearing shoes?
I have a government subsidy for a foot cheese farm.
I just ran out of our company, whooshing by the security guards. One of them goes:
“you’re doing this just for the heck of it? That’s tough man!”
I yelled back, “yup, just for the heck of it!” and now he goes, “he runs fast AND can still talk”
That cracked me up.
I would use the same response when a guy came up to me and said his friends were wondering why I wore shorts in winter: I’m sorry your life is so boring that you have to worry about what I’m wearing.”
“These are ORIGINAL design”
My neighbors seem to like to say, “Where’s your shoes?” I like to answer, “These are the ones The Lord gave me…”
On base someone asked me at the track why I was not wearing shoes. I said;
” Domestic Violence”
“Huh?”
“The shoes were hurting my feet so my feet to file a restraining order against them.”